


Mercenaries

by Wrikou



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 18:40:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13196208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrikou/pseuds/Wrikou
Summary: Leia ponders whether some mercenaries can be trusted.





	Mercenaries

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jedi_fish81](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedi_fish81/gifts).



> My gift to jedi_fish81 for the Winter 2017 Han/Leia Secret Santa Exchange on tumblr.

It was a harmless joke, Leia tried to reason herself. But it somehow nailed the exact qualm that was plaguing her lately. 

It happened the day just after her return from her clandestine mission to find the last Alderaanians scattered across the galaxy. Command had determined the next planet that would harbor the new Rebel headquarters during her absence, and a short briefing was held to announce the next destination. Luke and Han were chatting animatedly with fellow pilots, and Leia sat down beside them. Not in a good mood.

Yesterday’s smuggling mission had been a success. She came back with fine principles in mind and the remnants of an appreciated speech that worked in her favor. _We answer rage with wisdom._ She had felt a simple joy, then, when she set foot back on Yavin 4 and came together again with her new sidekicks. Yet as night fell on the Massassi Temple, her feelings darkened as if touched by the ambient shadows. _We answer fear with imagination…_ Alone in her living quarters and restless, she mulled over this turmoil that was bothering her. More important than satisfaction was now an anxiousness that she couldn’t shake off. Why? She had been treated as a suspect by her own people, insulted and threatened. She herself had threatened someone who had betrayed her even though she’d known him since childhood. And at once the galaxy revealed itself as dubious. Not straightforward. Deceiving and disappointing.

In the conference room, General Dodonna was setting out the next course of action. They would leave Yavin 4 as soon as possible, and send scouts ahead to insure that Soterios could be an acceptable host. Leia was surprised they had found a candidate that fast. It might be practical to search for other potential planets to establish the base, just in case, and she was planning to volunteer her assistance in rummaging through the galaxy again. The general moved on to the description of the new planet: they would hide in a canyon on Soterios, Tapani Sector, rotation period of 29 standard hours, average temperature of 33 degrees standard, surface water of 30%, mostly salt water. A screen was displaying a gray planet. The general finished his insight with “and start water rationing now, as we will need to install our own water desalination system first in order to avoid conspicuous contact with the local population”, and crowd noise started again.

Leia took a minute to listen to the Rebel’s conversations. From what she could hear, they were not happy with the announcement that was just made, but they were ready to put up with what was awaiting them, for the Rebellion. This was a reason why, despite everything, she felt at home within the Rebellion. She held in esteem those around her: they were people who decided to be here because it was the right thing to do, who enlisted voluntarily and were willing to endure hardship because they believed in a cause. Many people don’t have this in them. 

Many people don’t have this in them, uh? It certainly got verified over recent days… How many of _this_ people could turn traitors if the conditions called for it? This wasn’t how she wanted to think, how she wanted to look at this community—through dread and mistrust. But it was an important possibility that needed to be taken into account… Betrayal was a very real risk. A reality that still _stung_ , recollecting the recent events.

These were parasitic thoughts, interference that came and tarnished her convictions. She couldn’t keep thinking like that. She needed to believe in the fighters, to believe in Luke’s eagerness to join and the hope the destruction of the Death Star would give to the galaxy.

“No water and nothing to see! What a good day it is to join us! Are you sure you want to sign this contract?” she heard a young pilot ask, coming from her right, making her focus again on the people around her. His tone was ironic and somewhat brash, like he had already endured so much himself and was in a position to challenge the new recruits’ tenacity.

“We also do water rationing on Tatooine”, Luke answered, right next to her. “It will just be coming back to this lifestyle sooner than I expected.”

“Well it is an open question,” started Han in his laid-back way, slowly moving to put his hands behind his head, “ ’cause if _I_ come back to my latest lifestyle, it’d be the best time to go, sell the information to the Empire, get well paid and make the most of it!”

_It stung!_ And it sprang out of her: “Yes, it’s certainly the best possible benefit that _you_ could pick out!” She stormed out, leaving them behind as the room was clearing out.

“What happened?” asked Han, and Luke shrugged.

****

_It was just a joke, I shouldn’t have reacted like that_ , Leia thought as she was walking briskly around the large rooms of the base 

But really, why did Han come back, and why would he stay? What kept him from doing just what he joked about? Was it because it was the right thing to do, or something else, _anything_ else? Maybe the right thing to do was Luke’s motive: he had wanted for a long time to go to the Academy, find the Rebellion, something bigger than moisture farming, he had shared. But Han… What was his reason to be here?

For a second, Leia did think Han could very well turn out to be a traitor. Because he had acted in their interest so far didn't mean he was going to keep doing it. They hadn’t known each other for a long time, and in that short time, she had already witnessed him changing his mind. He had left, giving a plain justification, and reversed his ship as well as his decision, with no further details.

She couldn’t stop her thoughts returning to what happened the day before on Naboo. Lord Juun had welcomed her, then attempted to have her killed, only to side back with her again and give her what she asked for, but really solely to save his own life. This wasn’t even the first time she had been confronted this closely with betrayal. Prior to this was Giles Durane, who had been paid by her father to train her in weaponry, and who, just after declaring her ready and able to fight on her own, accepted to be paid to kill his own pupil.

This two—this three, all of them, they seemed so unpredictable, so _fickle_. Like weathercoohas. Such behavior… she didn't get it. It was counterproductive, meaningless, doing one thing and then the opposite. Even her duplicity during her years in the Imperial Senate and undercover missions for the Rebellion cost her a lot.

These two betrayals left their mark on her because it targeted her personally. Offenses against the Rebellion were plentiful, but these times, it was by the hands of long-time acquaintances, people she counted on, and who ultimately decided to sell her out. And she had to accept that it wouldn’t be the last time. She was beginning to think of herself as someone more likely to be betrayed than others, someone who bore obvious reasons why it would be beneficial to betray her. As much as she wanted to believe that double-crossers were new people whom you knew not to trust from the start while the ones you already trusted were like bound by a pact to not change their conduct, she knew for a fact it wasn’t like that at all.

She had started giving her trust anew, and it alarmed her. It had become clear that she was making of Luke and Han a new family, before anyone else in this base. Yet right now, the first thing that came to mind when thinking about family was Tarkin’s sardonic voice condemning her just before he fired upon her home planet. _“You’re far too trusting”_. She had evidently not trusted Tarkin back then, but now—now, she had to admit that she was already trusting Luke and _Han_ to not shatter her home a second time.

_Damn mercenary flyboy…_

****

The next time she saw him was at the mess, sitting at an empty table. Turning around, she could see Luke and Chewbacca still queueing to fill their tray and concluded they were going to join him. She went on and sat in front of him, putting her tray on the table. She still resented him, but didn’t want to cut herself off from them for something so dumb. She didn’t want to be alone and to lose them so early because of her tendency to spite. Avoiding him would be childish and wouldn’t get them anywhere. She did want to be with them and she figured she had to face him at one point or another. She needed to know whether to let herself start relying on him or not.

“Hey, why did you leave like that, earlier? Couldn’t be because of the joke…? It was what I just said, a joke! Can’t handle a little fun?”

Leia lifted her eyes from her plate to squint at him.

“Tell me you didn’t really believe I was serious! I wasn’t!” he tried to assure.

“You still haven’t paid off your smuggling debt, so certainly you’re not free from any financial interest.”

“You know, you’re a little unfair here. I _decided_ to be here,” he pointed at himself, indignation all over his features, or was it mock indignation? “so you could at least give me a chance. I thought you knew there was more to me than just money!”

She rolled her eyes. Yes, she had said that. She had _believed_ that. She knew she was maybe a little salty.

“If you want to talk about my old ways,” he started again, “I’ll let you know that I’ve been part of the Imperial Starfleet. And I walked out on them. So in a way, you could say I was a Rebel long before you.”

“Yeah, because you’re so much _older_ —”

“What I meant,” he raised his voice before going on, “is that there are things even I wouldn’t do. I don’t wheel and deal with the Empire. I am morally good, unlike what you may think.”

She paused. “It’s not enough. In order to endure and win the war, you need to have something more than merely being morally good.” Was it promising that he had backed out of his duty to the Empire, or was it worrying that he had backed out? How many times could this rogue change his mind?

“I have something more.”

He was gazing at her. She believed him, even though she wasn’t sure what he meant by having something more, what it was that he had. What else could it be if not the greater good? What else could make him want to fight this war now? Would it be enough to make him stay?

She was trying to understand him, to understand this improbable group, mercenaries who found something worthier than money: a man, a Wookie, a ship, and something that held it all together. Something that made him come back, and for a moment she entertained the selfish hope that somehow, it could also embrace her and Luke, and _hold together_.


End file.
